(https://lovelab.msi.ucsb.edu/revenge.html)

Okay, you've decided to become a marine biologist. Forget the horror in your parents' eyes, the disbelief on your “friends'” faces, and the slightly confused look your cat always has when she lays on your lap and kneads your abdomen.
You know you don't want to be a marine biologist so you can talk to dolphins or make obscene amounts of money. Rather, you realize that you are driven by a higher and purer calling. You are like a 6th century European shepherd who sees an image of Emperor Justinian on the rump of a sheep and decides to carry the animal on his back to Constantinople to show it to the emperor. The fact that he is attacked and sold into slavery by Lombards on his way and ends up as a tax collector in northern Italy should in no way deter you from your personal crusade.
But now you are overcome by the queasy feeling that a quiet voice is saying: what should I do to prepare myself for what lies ahead? What's particularly unsettling is that the little voice sounds exactly like Carmen Miranda in The Gangs All Here.

How do I become a marine biologist?
First, in the words of the book from the late, very unfortunate Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, don't panic.
Almost anyone who wants to study marine biology can do it. You can take tons of science in high school, you can take the bare minimum; you can get your diving license before you're in the bathroom, you can never learn to dive; you can go to small colleges where you're treated like a long-lost child, you can go to huge universities where professors spit on you for fun; you can go to colleges that specialize in marine biology, you can go to ones that offer only a few or even no such courses; you can go to college at 18, you can go when you're a ton older. In the long run, it all evens out.Are some of these paths better than others?But sure.Is there only one path you should take? No, no, Nanette.

Some good things to know

I.The early years

Read a lot. This is good advice no matter how old you are. I spend a lot of my career reading what others have written to know what's going on in my field, so the ability to read and understand is really important.Marine biologists are there to figure things out and communicate them to others.So you're going to spend a lot of your time not only reading what others have written, but reading what you've just written to make sure it makes sense.Also, one of the ways to be a successful writer is to read.Does it matter what you read? Well, I think in some ways it doesn't. On the other hand, maybe it's not a bad idea to read graceful prose.How about The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman, Look to Windward by the fabulous Iain Banks, A Distant Mirror by Barbara Tuchman, Samuel Pepys by Claire Tomalin, or the various Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman?

2. high school daze

First, remember that marine biology is actually biology that takes place in the ocean. So you are a biologist first and a disreputable marine biologist second. In high school, it would be nice if you maxed out in biology and took chemistry and a little math.
Do you suck at math and therefore think your career is over before it begins? No need to worry. I've never liked math and yet, by the grace of Gaia, I'm sitting in front of you as an official marine biologist.Is it harder for me because I can barely count on my fingers and toes?You bet.Did that stop me from becoming a marine biologist?No. What about physics?Should you take that in high school?I don't know.
I really hated physics in college. I had to take it to get a degree in biology, and I waited until the last possible second, until my fifth year of college (sophomore year), before I bowed to the inevitable. And I really despised it at the time. So I can't give advice on when to take physics. I would take a writing class, because scientists are often bad at writing. If you're interested in diving, live near the water, and can afford to take a class, learning to dive is a good thing. You'll find that one of the quickest ways to get in good with researchers at university is to be able to scuba dive. Researchers are always looking for cheap (read: free) divers, and once you meet the requirements that the college or university has for divers, you'll probably get lots of offers to help out with someone's research. But as I said, I never learned to dive, and while that was a mistake, it wasn't a fatal one. If there's a university or college near you, it's sometimes possible to volunteer in research - you can find out. Again, it doesn't matter whether the people you work with are marine biologists, terrestrial biologists or others. The important thing is that you gain experience in research. Grades. You can't live with them and you can't live without them.Try to get good grades, and very good grades.This will help you get into college and, well, it's just the right thing to do.If by chance you don't get astronomically good grades, don't panic (remember the book in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

3. the later years (scene with a calendar page blowing in the wind and the soft, soft sound of the Whiffenpoof song)

Question: what if I decide after 1 or 2 or, God forbid, 3 years at university that I don't want to be a marine biologist? What if I decide I don't want to be a biologist at all? What if I decide I want to live in a small town in South Dakota and make lovingly crafted reproductions of Gustav Stickley's rocking chair #397 (see Catalogue of Craftsman Furniture, copyright 1910, by Gustav Stickley)?
Answer: Yes: Excellent. I am proud of you. You are indeed a rare person. Because you can not only recognize your muse, you can walk up to her, put your arms around her waist and give her a big kiss on the lips. And since I'm a fan of the arts and crafts myself, can you put me on your list for two chairs?

You and your BA

First of all, it really is necessary to go to college if you want to study marine biology. That's just the way it is. Not to put too fine a point on it, you really should consider a graduate degree if you want to make it very far in this field. First, let's clear up the questions that your subconscious is spitting out like black pudding.

Question: what if I go to a community college for a couple years before attending a four-year college? Answer: no one cares.

Question: What if I go to a small college and not a large, prestigious university? Answer: No one cares.

Question: What if it takes me 5 years or more to get a BA degree? Answer: No one cares.

Question: What if I am 25, 30 or 35 years old before I start my studies? Answer: Nobody cares.

Question: what if I don't like going to my first choice college? What if I go there and then realize that I dreamed about this place for four years, that I joined the fucking glee club to make my high school transcript look better, and then had to sing the entire fucking score of “The Sound of Music” like 150 times because that's all glee clubs do? and that I sat in a dark, dank room for 13 consecutive Saturdays taking a class that taught me how to do well on the SATs, that after everything I've done and how I got accepted here and rode the Greyhound here with my cardboard bag in my hand, that this place really sucks. Is it ok if I transfer to another place? Answer: Yes: No one cares. I was at UC San Diego in 1965, and this place was hell on earth. I lost 30 pounds the first quarter, and the transfer forms ran out; I had to wait for another batch before I announced my intention to leave as soon as the year was up.They were trying to create Renaissance people there.
For example, all freshmen, regardless of major, had to take calculus and physics their freshman year. Oh, and did I mention that the physics textbook was the same one used in the physics honors course at UC Berkeley? And because the last Renaissance man was Da Vinci, many of us got out while the getting was good.

A few words about your first years as a biology major

First of all, I realize you were just a hot potato in high school.I know you won first place in the Dismal Seepage High School Science Faire with your very creative diorama, “Twelve Useful Things You Can Do with the Horrible, Horrible Gunk that You Find in the Trap of Your Bathroom Sink.” And I read the newspaper article about your prize-winning essay, “My Country, Right, Wrong, or, Gosh, Somewhere Just Out There in Right Field with the Gophers,” for which you received $75 and a very nice plaque from the Right and True Order of Ocelots (not to be confused with the Real Order of Ocelots, about which we shall say no more). And I fully understand that throughout high school, despite truly Herculean temptations, you shunned all psychoactive substances, right down to leaving out the nutmeg in your non-alcoholic eggnog, to protect that well-oiled machine, that (to quote St. Augustine) temple on the hill, your sanity.But the thing is, well, the thing is that you may find that your chosen citadel of higher learning is a different caliber altogether. You may find yourself surrounded by people who have all won first place at the science fair, gotten the check and the plaque, and realized that they can ingest nutmeg, among other substances, without having to pull down their temples on the hill around their shoulder blades. Here's what that means: Freshman year, or even sophomore year, can be a harsh shock.

Of course, this is true for any student, regardless of major, because you're away from home, have a great deal of freedom (“Free at last, free at last, thank God I'm free at last”) and can stay up later than 10 p.m. In my experience, however, this is especially true for biology students. You see, most of us biology majors have to take a whole bunch of prerequisites before we can study ichthyology, algology or marine ecology.These include inorganic and organic chemistry, calculus, introductory biology, physics, not to mention English, art history and all the rest.At some point, about 1.5 years in, prospective biology majors can rightly feel like, “This is just painful. Is this what the rest of study/life is all about?” If so, then maybe I'll go south.”
And the answer you'll hear, to your relief, is.... no. In fact, some of us have a sneaking suspicion that the first few years of undergrad serve to weed out those who aren't truly committed to biology. At the end of my sophomore year at UC Santa Barbara, I gave myself one more year, and if my sophomore year didn't bring much improvement, I would become a commercial fisherman. And my sophomore year, filled with ichthyology, cell physiology, oceanography and the like, was just glorious.
So hang in there. Be of good cheer. Of course, if you really feel like you're on the wrong path, as we've already established, it's perfectly acceptable, honorable, and even wise to drop out.

A small but crucial digression

Question:If I only take the minimum number of courses per quarter/semester to graduate, will anything bad happen to me later in life?Answer: No:No one cares.

When it comes to whether you do well with 4 courses per quarter/semester or mediocre with 5 courses, you should take the minimum number of courses (always assuming you are making the required progress toward your degree).Studying biology can be very, very stressful.
Don't underestimate the amount of time and energy it requires, especially in the first 2 years.

Question: Well, that's all very well for you to say that.
But what about my fellow students who are just slipping through? How can they take 18 classes, work a software troubleshooting job, teach salsa at the community center on the weekends, and bring baskets of food to shut-ins? I barely make it with 4 classes, 2 meals a day and a standard of hygiene that would make James Boswell pale.
The answer:Ah, I understand the problem.It may surprise you, but these people are androids. In reality, they are artfully crafted half-men and half-machines made deep in the Rocky Mountains at the Strategic Air Command headquarters near Colorado Springs.I repeat for those of you who are not androids that you should at least take the minimum number of classes per quarter/semester to begin with.Forget Taoism. When it comes to the first year or two of college, that's really the way to go.

Actually, as Lao Tzu wrote, you should not forget Taoism:
Man molds himself after the earth,
the earth after heaven,
Heaven after the Way,
And the Way according to what is natural.

If you're wondering what courses you should take to impress future employers and/or graduate schools, know what the people hiring you or accepting you as a graduate student are looking for. “Does this person seem smart, educated, enthusiastic, and have the skills I'm looking for? See, that's not such a bad thing. And you can spend your graduate studies honing those things a little bit - you know, polishing up that old image a little bit.

4 And on to graduate school

It's true that almost all interesting jobs in this field require a graduate degree. But don't worry, graduate school is fun in kilograms (not pounds, because now you're a scientist and we use the metric system, so forget all those centimeters, inches and cubits). I did my masters and PhD at the University of California at Santa Barbara, and in the end the administration had to kick and scream me out the door.
You can still see the marks of my fingernails on the floor of the biology department from when they dragged me out.

Tips from the old pro on how to snag a spot in graduate school.

It may sound crass, but it pays to think of graduate school admissions as a game.(Actually, it would be helpful to think of your whole life as a game where you are the puck).You are competing with a lot of people for relatively few spots - so you need to stand out in some way. Rule number 1. understand the selection process. Importantly, in most graduate programs, you need to impress a professor enough for him or her to accept you as a student. But the word “impress” is not really descriptive enough. The professor selects someone who will work in the lab for anywhere from 2 to occasionally 10 years.
And much like a rancher selecting a puppy, the professor must try to select students with certain characteristics. Is the puppy likely to grow up to be a dog that has a big heart, is intelligent and can be a real help on the ranch? Or will he grow up to be a burden, a big, flatulent, incompetent creature who spends most of his time urinating on the carpet?

So how should a professor decide?

And that's the crux of the matter. You have to differentiate yourself enough from your peers to attract the professor's attention.In most cases, the professor will have three pieces of information about you at the outset: grades, Graduate Record Exam scores, and letters of recommendation.At this point, almost everyone who applies has good grades and usually pretty good GRE scores as well.
Therefore, it is often the letters of recommendation that first catch a professor's attention. Rule number 2 - your letters of recommendation must be outstanding. Who will give you these letters? The best people are the ones you worked with in school or at work. Think about it, which sounds better? “Dewey took Psychology 8 with me and got an A, but other than that I have no memory of him.” Or, “Dewey was a volunteer diver in my research program and was absolutely fabulous.
He's a self-promoter, extremely mature, and I'm only sorry that I don't have enough resources to take him on as a grad student myself.”

So: Rule number 3: Stay close to researchers and make yourself useful. This can not only earn you good letters of recommendation, but can occasionally lead to you getting a place at university with the person you are mentoring. Think about it. If I'm a professor and I have a place available for a PhD student, who am I more likely to accept, a person I only know through a piece of paper and an application form, or Agnes, who has worked for me for two years without pay and who is clearly interested, motivated and hardworking?
I conclude my plea.

Rule number 4 - Have a skill that most of your competitors don't have.What kind of skill?
I don't know, think about it and come up with something. Okay, here are a few ideas: Diving experience, statistical expertise, experience with GIS, experience working with boats, experience with oceanographic equipment, general experience working with other researchers.

And how, apart from studying, can you gain this experience?

Not a rule, but a good idea for some 1 - Get a job between undergrad and grad school.

Here's why this might be a good idea. If you find a job that is even close to your interests, you can (1) find out if you like that kind of work; (2) get good letters of recommendation; (3) prove to a professor that you can actually do a job without going completely nuts; (4) save some money to cover graduate school costs - see below. What kinds of jobs could you get? If you've successfully dabbled in the right lab, there's often money available to hire you, at least temporarily.
There are usually a few other opportunities. Recently, I've noticed people getting hired as observers in some North Pacific fisheries (note that people usually only do this for 1-2 years before they never want to see a pollock again). Some state and federal agencies, such as the California Department of Fish and Game, sometimes offer temporary positions, and there is often some turnover in companies involved in environmental impact studies.

 2 - Tell the professor that you won't cost anything.

I put this point at the end because most people can't do this, but it should actually be at the top of the list if you can, because it can be a very effective lever. Most professors rightly feel responsible for their graduate students. But that often means, “Melvin, I'd love to have you as a student, but I don't have the resources to support you.” And then you look her straight in the eye and say, “That's okay, Dr. Spalzani, I have my own funds, I'm not going to cost you a dime!”
And, oh, what an impression that can make. I realize that most students can't say something like that. But think about it. If you were to get a job for a few years and live frugally, you might be able to save enough to say to Dr. Spalzani, “That's okay, Dr. Spalzani, I won't cost you a dime!”

Oh, and did I mention that you should read a lot? Try some of Galway Kinnell's poetry like “Oatmeal.”